


Clearing the Air

by xoalenko (spacebarista)



Series: Kaidan Appreciation Week 2016 [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Kaidan Appreciation Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:04:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6296131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebarista/pseuds/xoalenko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Kaidan Week Day 5: Romance. Two friends talk about where they've been in the past, and where they could be in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clearing the Air

**Author's Note:**

> Here we have some ME3 Liara/Kaidan. when tossing ideas around with one of my rp partners we talked about a Liara who was crushing on Kaidan since Therum and possibly they tried a relationship after Shepard’s death but Liara’s extracurriculars and Kaidan’s issues with Cerberus got in the way. He invites her out to lunch a la “sanity check lunch” to talk to her. So here are some nerds getting their nonsense out of the way so they can be happy. i’m pretty nervous about this fic since it’s not a huge ship but gosh wouldn’t they be cute? i hope y’all like it.

Kaidan would be lying if he says he isn’t a touch nervous. In fact, he’s more than a touch nervous. He’s low-key freaking out. He’d emailed her after hours of agonizing over it. Agonizing over the wording, the pacing, if it had even been the right time. But he’d waited long enough. Being back on the ship with her and on the ground with her had brought back feelings and memories and thoughts he had buried a long time ago. Mars had started the digging, everything else was unearthed quickly with her hospital visits and his return to the Normandy.

 

She hadn’t spoken to him much since the coup. To be fair, she’s barely talked to anyone, preferring to spend much of her time in her makeshift quarters. It reminds him of almost another time. Another instance where she had become distant. But he needed to talk to her. It’s driving him crazy not to. Shore leave on the Citadel seemed as good a time as any. She’d be out and about anyway. She hadn’t responded to his message. Frankly, he doesn’t have much hope. Not the way things had ended last time. Still, he won’t leave. Not yet. Just in case.

 

Nervous fingers tap on the table top. What if she _doesn’t_ come? Should he ask if she even got his message? She’s busy, talking to people all over the galaxy. He would understand if she had missed it. What if she _had_ gotten it, and doesn’t come anyway? That thought hurts. Kaidan’s been rejected before. It’s shaped the man he is today. This, however, would be rejection number two from her. The way things are… he doesn’t know how he would take a second. She’s going through a lot. They all are. But he feels so alone in everything, so isolated. Having her reject him again won’t help with that feeling. Maybe he should have taken Hackett’s offer. Maybe then he’d—

 

“Kaidan? I’m sorry I’m late.”

 

Brown eyes flick up from the white tabletop to the white of the speaker’s armor. It takes a brief moment for him to have the courage to meet her eyes, to smile at her. _I can do this_.

 

“It’s fine, Liara. I know you’re busy.” His heart lightens at her returned smile, the ease with which she sits down across from him. Maybe he’s been overthinking it. Maybe everything will turn out fine. “Wasn’t sure my message even got through to you.”

 

The asari hums, rests her chin in the palm of her hand. “Yes, that is an occupational hazard for an information broker. But I put priority alerts on certain contacts.” She smiles again, almost shyly. If Kaidan isn’t reading too much into things. “I wouldn’t decline an invitation from an old friend.”

 

His heart tries to sink into his stomach at the word “friend”, but he doesn’t let it. It’s not ideal, yet it’s not bad either. It’s still rings true. The two biotic members of the original Normandy crew had gotten along well. Both soft-spoken, curious, smart, and skilled, they found much to talk about between missions and educated each other further on both human and asari culture. He’d helped her further adapt her biotics for combat, strengthened her confidence in her abilities. She’d been one of the first to comfort him after Virmire, to check on him in the medbay. She’d sat by his side and kept him company. He’d heard a few jokes thrown their way as their friendship continued. Jokes about the Lieutenant being sweet on the asari maiden, jokes about the doctor lowering her standards for a sensitive Canadian. He could go on. They never bothered him.

 

They weren’t wrong.

 

Kaidan had certainly developed feelings for Liara. Her strength after the ordeal with Matriarch Benezia, after her world got turned upside down… it reminded him of himself. She stayed gentle and kind, the edge she gained never changing that. She often checked on him after migraines, checked on whoever Shepard chose as her ground crew for every mission. Her care for Shepard, for the crew, for _him_ meant more than he could say. And soon he felt a warmth he associated with more than friendship when she touched his arm. It seemed as if she felt the same, her touches becoming more lingering, her time spent with him lengthening.

 

They had only just started exploring those feelings when the Normandy went down.

 

Talking to Liara—whether in person or over comms—helped immensely with his survivor’s guilt, with his emotional instability. He hoped it helped her too. He didn’t want her feeling the way he had. He expressed that he was there for her whenever she needed. Her smile when he said it made every bit of darkness fade from his heart. Then the calls got shorter. More infrequent. Until eventually she stopped calling him. Stopped answering. The silence hurt. He had told himself it wasn’t personal. She had to be going through as much pain as he had been. But that didn’t make it hurt less. Soon he was promoted. Then he was shipped out to Horizon. It was all distraction enough, especially seeing Shepard again.

 

Still. He had wondered why. What had he done to push Liara away? What had happened to their friendship? To their relationship?

 

At least until Shepard had told him just what Liara had been up to in those two years.

 

“Well,” Kaidan starts, clearing his throat and shaking away his gloom. “That’s good to hear. I thought it’d be nice for us to catch up somewhere other than a hospital room.”

 

“I agree. It’s nice to get out of my quarters with such missed company.”

 

He perks at that. “Well then. Shall we order?”

 

The meal is enjoyed with lively conversation. Liara regales him with her version of the attack on the Shadow Broker’s ship. She injects it with the humility he always attributed to her, gives most of the credit to Shepard. He knows she had put most of the work into it. She had to have. He tells her about his students, about how helping her prepared him for them. Even if many of them are a bit more arrogant than she had been. He goes into more detail than he had during their hospital conversations. Laughter bubbles from her when he explains how he threw one particular young man who kept rolling his eyes during training. He’s surprised when she tells him she’d seen it, that she’d kept tabs on him. He can’t help the swell of pride in his chest when she reveals she saw his first Reave, that she’d been worried when he fell to his knees afterwards. Only his thrilled, tired laughter gave her any relief. He in turn tells her how he did it, how he became the only known human to rival an asari Matriarch. She smiles at him the whole time, sometimes looking at him through her lashes. It feels good. It feels like nothing changed.

 

When their meals are cleared away and both opt for some coffee, their jovial moods turn a touch sober. It’s like the strong liquid is a sign to both of them that there’s some unfinished business between them. She stares down at the table as Kaidan watches the pedestrians enjoying the Presidium. He’s not sure how many times he tries to start _the_ conversation. The whole reason he asked her here. But where would he start? _How_?

 

“You know,” Liara starts, so softly he almost misses it. Her eyes stay trained on her coffee. “I’ve… missed you, Kaidan. Even after all this time.”

 

“Really?!” It’s out before he can stop himself, head snapping up to look at her. Her cheeks catch a purple tint, her eyes stay down. It takes Kaidan a second to realize she’s blushing. It’s been too long. “Oh my God. Sorry, Liara, I—I was just… uh... shit.”

 

Liara snickers, despite herself. Kaidan quickly joins her. It helps with his own embarrassment. She’d missed him. Kaidan had spent all this time thinking she hadn’t. That her kindness was because of their friendship, because of how close they had been before. That wouldn’t have been so bad. He’d love that just as much. But her blush, her nervousness… She’s missed him the way he’s missed her.

 

 _She’s missed him the way he’s missed her_.

 

“Let me try that again,” he sighs. He takes another deep breath and smiles at her. Reaching across the table, he takes one of her hands. For a moment, he worries she’ll pull away. That he’s reading this all wrong. She smiles with a slight tilt of her head. And rests her other hand on his. Good start. “Liara… I’ve missed you, too. I really thought... I thought we could _be_ something, you know?”

 

Her smile doesn’t fade, but her gaze falls to their hands. She brushes a cool blue thumb over his knuckles. “I know very well. But I stopped talking to you. I shut you out.”

 

He snorts. “Well, I didn’t do a good job of trying to get you to. We both fell out of touch.” Kaidan pauses, his own attention fixing on their hands. It feels… _right_. It’s the comfort he’s missed all this time when he’s wallowed in his self hatred and guilt. Liara’s calming touch. Her presence. “Shepard… told me what you had been doing, Liara. What you did.” Her inhale is audible even over the din of the cafe. He squeezes her hand, shows her it’s not an accusation. “I understand. It wasn’t ideal but… what else could you have done? Who else would have helped?”

 

Liara doesn’t answer. Her eyes fall back on their hands, her blue ones turning over his tan one to examine it. He waits. He could watch her all day. He has, too. Watched her study artifacts found on their ground missions, watched her pour over datapads and terminals, watched her laugh and talk and smile and _live_. He had thought she was beautiful long before he realized he felt anything for her. Still does. She takes a deep breath before her eyes meet his again.

 

“I thought you might hate me. For giving her to Cerberus.”

 

That stops him cold. _Hate_ her? She thought he’d _hate_ her? No wonder she pushed him away. With everything she had been feeling… his thoughts on Cerberus would not have done her any good. He can’t blame her for putting her feelings ahead of his. He’d never expect her to do otherwise. But it still stings. She couldn’t trust him with the knowledge of her plans because his reaction could hurt her.

 

It was his fault.

 

“Liara, I—” He stops himself. He needs to get his thoughts together. Not answer based on his current emotions. That could spell disaster. He breathes. In. Out. In, out. “I’d _never_ hate you. I’d never hate _any_ of you, but _especially_ you. I’d be mad. Disappointed, maybe. But… in the end… I’d know that you only did it because you felt it was the right thing to do. You wouldn’t do it if you had another option, a better one. You had the best of intentions. You got Shepard a miracle. That doesn’t sound hate worthy, does it?”

 

Liara stares at him, eyes darting over his face. Kaidan can guess what she’s looking for. But he doesn’t. Again, he waits. After what seems like an eternity, she laughs. It’s small, quiet, a little nervous. But still a laugh. She smiles at him again.

 

“No. No it doesn’t.”

 

Kaidan returns her smile. Suddenly, the mood is lighter. Hell, it almost feels like the Presidium is brighter. Maybe it is. Liara looks at their hands again.

 

“Kaidan… is this why you invited me here? To ‘clear the air’, as they say?”

 

“One reason, yeah,” he answers, letting his own thumb brush over her smooth skin. She raises a brow, waits for him to continue. So he drags it out. He tilts his head, looks into his cooling coffee. “The main reason, I suppose… was to ask you if you’d like to try again.” He blinks, looks at her through his lashes as she had done to him before. “If you’d like to try _us_ again.”

 

Liara blinks once, twice. Leaves him hanging as she stares at him again. Untilher lips quirk up in a grin and she looks away from him. “There’s nothing I’d like more, Major. The same thought has been on my mind since you pushed me away from that shuttle on Mars.”

 

Nothing like his near death to bring everyone together. Still, it’s nice to know that his need to get her away from danger had reminded the both of them of what they’d had. What they could be. He smiles at her, smiles wider and more genuine than he has in a long time. He waves for the waitress, ready to pay and get them by themselves. “Well then, shall we go on a real date, maybe?”

 

She smiles at him, squeezes his hand. “And what do you think we should do? We’ve already had lunch. Isn’t that date enough?” She lets him go so he can pay, but he feels her eyes on him the whole time. He stands when the waitress finally leaves, stretching his back the tiniest bit. He hadn’t noticed how achy he got from sitting still too long. He’s getting old.

 

“Walk around the Presidium, maybe? Talk some more?”

 

Liara looks thoughtful, gaze turning down towards the shops and her usual table when they’re on shore leave. He waits, arms crossing as he shifts his weight to one hip. When she looks back up at him, he sees a bit of a wicked glint in her eye.

 

“We could go see my father. She works down here somewhere. Might be nice to introduce you.”

 

Kaidan’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out. He feels his cheeks heat up and his gaze shifts down, hand moving to rub at the back of his neck. “Uh… I don’t think I’m ready to meet _your_ father, Liara. I’ve barely healed from my injuries, really. And I’m so bad with parents. Like embarrassingly bad. One time I—”

 

She’s on her feet before he can process it and stops his tirade, pressing her lips to his. Kaidan practically melts, hands falling to her hips, humming into the kiss. Liara’s lips are as soft as he remembers, even if they only ever kissed once or twice. He doesn’t think he could ever forget it. A cool hand rests on his jaw. It’s happening. Finally. Though, he can’t say he’s surprised it took them so long. He’s pretty self aware. Or thinks he is. When Liara pulls away, she’s laughing, and he hopes he isn’t dreamy looking. That his crooked grin is more sexy than goofy.

 

“I forgot how cute you can be when you’re nervous,” she teases, thumb brushing over his cheek. “Major looks good on you, you know. Spectre, too.”

 

“It’s the confidence, isn’t it?” He jokes, pulling her in for another quick kiss. “It does help. Makes the hair shinier, I think.”

 

Liara shakes her head, but he can tell she knows what he means. They’ve both come a long way from Lieutenant and doctor. The second human Spectre and the Shadow Broker… it’s quite an evolution.They’re both far more confident than they had been when they began this journey. But deep down… it’s a relief to know they can also both still be the shy, sensitive people they have come to care about.

 

“C’mon,” he says, grabbing her hand and gently tugging her out of the cafe. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

 

She squeezes his hand, leans close to him. “And only so much shore leave.”

 

He ignores the implication beneath the teasing, the battle they’re facing. Right now, they’re just two people who are finally getting what they want. He’ll live in that moment for as long as he can. He smiles at her, feeling truly relaxed and happy for the first time in months.

 

“Then we’d better get started.”


End file.
